I was asked this question recently and it reinforced to me why huunuu exists and how we can help people in impossible situations.
What we do is important, although it doesn’t always feel that way. It always feels slightly strange trying to build a business that’s purpose is to get people talking about the tough stuff. To enable people to have the crucial conversations about death, life, living, dying and the what ifs can take a lot of energy, time and money.
Our desire to give people support in difficult moments, which in turn gives others clarity can be overwhelming at times, but every now and again there is a little something that gives us the spark. The one that confirms to us that we are helping people and that it’s the small things that count.
We occasionally get asked for help from those closest to us and it is mainly things to do with adult funerals. This week was different.
A close family members’ granddaughter had just given birth at 37 weeks to her little boy, and very tragically he was stillborn. I am going to call him Lucas, which isn’t his name, but I am going to use it to protect their privacy at this really difficult time.
The request from Lucas’s grandma was: “what songs do you play at a baby’s funeral?” Most of the songs they’d found felt too grown-up, so they wondered if I could help? I said yes of course.
However, I found it very difficult to find suggestions myself. It struck me that in the throes of grief, it isn’t instinctive to search the internet for answers, it may be the last thing you want to think about it.
So, I decided I would publish my song list. My hope is that this may lesson any endless hunting on the internet, when people are going through such an unimaginable ordeal and are suffering horrendous pain.
And for all the mothers, fathers, grandparents, family members and carers, who have suffered the loss of a baby or child, my thoughts are with you.
1. Bette Midler - Baby be mine
2. Eric Clapton - Tears in heaven
3. Westlife - I'll See You Again
4. Celine Dione - Fly
5. Faith Hill - There you'll be'
6. Eva Cassidy - Over the rainbow
7. Kenny Chesney - Who you'd be today
8. Pooh - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: “Wherever You Are”
9. Helen Reddy - Pete’s Dragon: “Candle On The Water”
10. Diamond Rio - One More Day
We’ve made this into a playlist on YouTube so you can take a listen. You can find that here:
Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal charity have a wealth of information and support available on their website. You can find them here